OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Brolin Empey
brolin at brolin.be
Sun Jan 24 12:36:16 CET 2010
I have been living alone in my apartment for 2 weeks. I used Google
Earth’s ruler feature to determine my apartment is only 480 m (direct
distance; road or walking distance is farther.) from my parents’s
house. I have actually gone grocery shopping alone and need to go again
tomorrow (on Sunday). I should have gone today (on Saturday), but I
procrastinated. (fail) It is still hard for me to go to bed early
enough to be well rested at work the next day, but I am improving. I
think this is the 8th time I have moved in the almost 23 years since I
was born. This is the first time I have lived away from my parents and
the first time I have lived alone, though.
I still have no female companion, but I wonder how much I really want
one: if I really wanted one, why do I not try harder to find one? For
example, I could actually attend the meetups in Vancouver for the
dating/singles groups I joined on Meetup.com months ago, but I still
have not attended any of them because I always make other tasks a higher
priority. I know priorities are everything: if I do not make finding a
female companion a high priority, it will probably not happen. Then
again, though, only 3 years ago, I did not think I would ever fall in
love, nor have a girlfriend, nor have sex, but all 3 things finally
happened in 2007. :) Having sex is notable because I am not desperate
enough to pay for sex and because living with my parents makes sexual
relationships very awkward. These things may not seem very notable to
some people, but they are very notable to people who know me well
because I am usually too shy and self-conscious to try talking to my
female peers. I also isolate myself from face-to-face/human contact
with new people so much. I know there are many offline events for
dating and shared interests, but I have to actually make attending these
events a higher priority than tasks involving being alone at home.
There are always things I want to do with my computers which I have to
wait until I have sufficient free time on the weekend to do, but if I
want to make new offline friends, I have to make attending these events
a higher priority than my solitary tasks. My actions/choices seem to
say I do not want to make new friends because I do not even try. It is
not as if attending these events is so difficult for me: I own my own
car, I can drive alone, I can legally use my GPS navigator in my car
again (see below). As long as I can find parking, this makes travelling
much easier than relying on others, including public transit, for
transportation. However, participating in Internet communities from
home is still much easier than travelling in the physical world. And
yes, I realise this is probably because I am more comfortable with
participating in Internet communities because I have so much more
experience with this form of communication. I know we learn by doing,
not saying, so I should attend many physical/offline events, even if I
do not think they will interest me, to practise travelling in the
physical world, but I still choose to stick with what I know best, which
means isolating myself at home. I already have more experience than my
closest friend I know offline, Andrew Williamson: I can drive a car
with a manual transmission, I have kissed girls, I have been on dates
with female peers, I have had sex, I have industrial work experience,
even if I do work for my parents’s company, and now I am finally living
alone and away from my parents.
Of course, it would be satisfying and pleasing to have a
girlfriend/lover who understands me well and can relate to me, who
shares my passion for my computing interests, who is both physically and
emotionally close to me and who wants to share her body with me to
satisfy both of our (or at least my) desire for intimacy. Of course I
have sexual desire/lust for girls, but I do not even have anyone with
whom to share my desire for non-sexual affection, such as
cuddling/snuggling, kissing, or even simply holding hands and/or staring
into each other’s eyes. Again, these things may not seem so notable or
hard to get for some people, but they are very notable for me because I
am so shy and quiet/reserved. I was very close to my birth/biological
mom Judy Patricia Reimer, but she died from breast cancer on 2002-10-03,
when I was only 15. :(( That was the most difficult thing to ever
happen to me. It still saddens me: I am literally crying for the first
time in months because writing about her reminds me of how much I missed
her after she died. :( However, I still manage without these things:
they may be required for long-term happiness and satisfaction in life,
but are not required for me to function in society.
I received my Dell Vostro V13 laptop: I am using Mozilla Thunderbird
v3.0.1 on Windows 7 Professional 32-bit on brolin-V13 (my Vostro V13’s
hostname) to write this message. :) I love this laptop because it is so
thin and light. My largest complaint is the laptop display’s very poor
viewing direction/angle: it is extremely frustrating because the
colours change so much even with the height distances of different
postures while I am sitting at my desk. This may be less noticeable if
I was shorter, but I am 191 cm tall. :) My laptop has only VGA output
too, no digital video output, but VGA is still sufficient for using
1920x1080 on a 23" Acer LCD monitor at home and 1680x1050 on a 22"
Samsung LCD monitor at work. I know it is technically inefficient
because the computer has to convert the graphics frame buffer from
digital to analog, then the LCD monitor has to sample the analog video
signal to convert it back to digital, but the resulting image quality is
still sufficient for me. Furthermore, I was willing to compromise on
video output to have the ultraportable coolness of the Vostro V13. I do
not know if there are any comparable (similar) laptops, other than the
13" MacBook Pro, with digital video output? 1366x768 on my laptop’s 13"
display is surprisingly usable, but I prefer to use an external LCD
monitor for better viewing direction. I almost wish I had chosen a
MacBook Pro with an IPS LCD panel for much better viewing direction, but
I thought it was silly to pay such a premium for an overpriced Mac when
I would not even run Mac OS X on it: I prefer Windows Vista or 7. I
was concerned because my laptop has no optical disc drive (ODD), but it
actually does not matter because I still have not yet needed one. :) I
love having the same PC at both home and work: it is so much simpler
and more practical than using separate desktop PCs in both places. I
still have desktop (minitower, actually) PCs in both places, but they
are headless because I can ssh to them from Cygwin on Windows 7. :)
I have finally exited the province of British Columbia’s Graduated
Licensing Program (GLP): in Richmond on Friday morning, I passed my
first Class 5 passenger vehicle road test with only 3 mistakes: 2
stopping distance, 1 lane position. :D I did not pass the Class 7
passenger vehicle road test until my 4th time. (fail) I had been
practising following all driving rules and parallel parking all week
before my road test, but I was still afraid my driving examiner was
going to ask me to parallel park and I was going to screw up because I
almost never parallel park. I was lucky, though, because I did not have
to parallel park on my road test! :) Following all driving rules is
hard at first because I am so used to my habits such as speeding and
rolling stops. These habits are technically illegal, but many people do
them; I never never been caught. I was actually stopped by the police
for the first time ever a few weeks ago, but it was only for a roadside
check (the police officer wanted to know what class of driver’s licence
I had, probably because he thought I look young. I answered “Class 7”,
then he asked if I had been drinking because I cannot drink before
driving (AKA drink and drive ;)) until I have a Class 5 driver’s
license. He also verified I had my magnetic ‘N’ (Novice stage of the
GLP) sign on the back of my car.), not because I had done something
wrong. Part of the ‘N’ sign is stuck to my car’s hatch, though, because
it has been on there for so long (2 years). I used to remove it when I
washed my car, but I wash my car so infrequently: I probably have not
washed it since October or earlier. (fail). Now I can legally use my
GPS navigator while driving again too.
I also finally have a relatively modern (from 2004) digital (still)
camera again: I won a used Canon PowerShot G6 on eBay. I chose this
model because I liked my cousin’s PowerShot G10 so much. My mom gave me
her old (2005) flatbed scanner because she never uses it any more
because she uses the photocopier at work, but I still have not even
tried the scanner to see if it works. (fail) I thought I needed it to
scan a personal document at home, which is easier than bringing the
document to work to scan and e-mail or fax from work, but the recipient
actually has access to the same document, so I did not end up needing to
scan it. This is the first time I have had a scanner. It would be
useful sometimes, but I have survived without a scanner until now,
especially since I can use the photocopier at work to scan and e-mail
documents to myself.
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